Benches Empty As Braves and Phillies Show Disgust With Unknowledgeable Fans


McCann They Take It? Bryan McCann and his teammates and their opponents go off on fans.

ATLANTA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) On the heels of their benches clearing brawl with the Milwaukee Brewers, the Atlanta Braves once again stormed the field in their game against the Philadelphia Phillies.  However, this time it was to join their opponents in a free for all name calling fest against the apathetic crowd in the stands.

The crowd munched on nachos and hot dogs, whilst quaffing down copious amounts of beer, as veterans and rookies from both clubs lambasted them for their heart and intellect.

The Braves and Phillies high-fived each other as they hurled insults ranging from the traditional expletive-laced variety to haughty, obscure reference-based abuse.

“You call yourselves fans?” screamed Braves catcher Bryan McCann. “You people wouldn’t know the difference between a torn meniscus and good old fashioned Chondromalacia.”

“Yeah! What he said!” echoed Phillies veteran shortstop, Jimmy Rollins. “You don’t deserve baseball.  Look in the mirror.  You should stick with your damn trailer races and pork rinds.”

“Exactly!” chirped McCann, who then paused and took exception with Rollins’ taunt. “Wait? Trailer races and pork rinds?  I like those things. Just what the hell are you insinuating Rollins…that everyone from the south is a tobacco chewin’, low rent, hick from the sticks?”

“Pretty much.” Rollins answered.

That’s when the crowd enjoyed watching several uninterrupted minutes of high level trash talk between the two all-stars. Pockets of additional putdowns broke out near the third base line. One in particular featured a rather theatrical exchange, as Phillies pitcher, Michael Stutes debated the origin of the Andromeda galaxy with Braves infielder Dan Uggla.

In related news, the Braves won the game 7-1.


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