From the Archives: Seahawks’ 12th Man Under PED Investigation
SAN FRANCISCO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) When your home crowd actually registers on the Richter Scale and causes a minor earthquake, it’s time to take a peek under the hood.
The Seattle Seahawks fan base has long been known for being the loudest in professional sports. Last weekend, they set a new world record for decibels setting off seismic activity.
“Fortunately, the team was away Sunday and suffered a loss – which I’m hoping defuses the previously unyielding mania.” said Seismologist, Gerhardt Pferd Sheisen, of the Pacific Rim Institute in nearby Kent, Washington. “I’m convinced the fans are jazzed up on steroids, which could lead to a big quake, potential structural damage, and one hell of a league fine.”
The NFL said an investigation began last Wednesday in an attempt to determine if the league can bring action against the 12th man.
“I just wish they’d all clam up.” said Clifford Kane, 94, of Normandy Park. “A fella can’t even drop a log without getting rattled off his commode by those young punks who call themselves fans. Now, get off my goddamned property!”