Mark McGwire Seen Creepily Lurking Outside Hall of Fame Offices
COOPERSTOWN (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Former Oakland A’s and St. Louis Cardinals slugger and accused PED user, Mark McGwire was once again unable to accumulate enough votes to enter the Baseball Hall of Fame yesterday. He did watch contemporaries, Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and Frank Thomas receive the honor on his smartphone however.
“We spotted him watching the live feed on the MLB TV app.” said Hall of Fame Assistant Curator and Least Ethnic Name Award winner, Horace Kensington-Stark. “Afterward, he was lurking about for roughly three hours peering into windows with an odd, blank stare which eventually transmogrified into a cold, malevolent smile as if some horrible event was about to go down. Fortunately, it didn’t. So far.”
McGwire was eventually escorted from the premises by Cooperstown Police Chief, Conrad Lassiter and two assistant officers.
“He appeared to be greatly angered at what he referred to as ‘an obvious oversight’ and ‘voter fraud’ and demanded an immediate recount of all the ballots.”
Former U.S. House of Representatives member and Florida Secretary of State, Katherine Harris will investigate.