TSD Super Bowl EXCLUSIVE: Lucchesi Crime Family Waiting on Peyton Manning’s Front Lawn

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Manning Up. On second thought, Peyton better run the other way and cool out.

DENVER (Sportsman’s Daly Wire Service) Oddsmakers, bookies, a significant portion of the city of Las Vegas, and everyone who stood to benefit from a close Super Bowl aren’t happy. And they’re pointing their fingers at one man – Peyton Manning. The Broncos quarterback and future Hall of Famer, had a rough night tossing two interceptions and seeing his team dominated by the Seattle Seahawks, 43-8.

“That Wonder Bread Fuck ruined my day!” said Louis “Sulphuric Lou” Castellano, a captain in the Lucchese Crime Organization. “This is not what we agreed upon. So I’m sending a message, and it ain’t coming Federal Express, if you catch my not so thinly veiled drift and what not.” 

The message will be delivered by button men Jimmy “The Slicer” Machete and Carmine “Ball Sac” Teste who are currently camped out on Manning’s front lawn.

“Umm, yeah…this might not be good.” said Manning’s brother, Eli, who avoided playing in the Super Bowl altogether. “I’d advise him to cool out for a while – maybe go to Barbados or some shit. I’ve hid out there myself. Tom Brady’s there right now.”

Latest reports indicate Peyton Manning is unaccounted for.

 

DEVELOPING 

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