Packers Fan Shows Up for Training Camp 200 Pounds Overweight


Packin’ It On. Conner Carlson needs some cleaning up.

DE PERE, WI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Conner Carlson, a lifelong Green Bay Packers fan and important cog in the wheel of Packer fandom, has some explaining to do, and then a fair amount of work.

“We’re stunned,” said fellow fan, Jerry Schroeder. “We all have spare tires around our middle what with ingesting copious amount of brats and beer, but Conner’s really let himself go. He’s gone from being a moderate, late season heart attack risk, to not making it past the third game of pre-season. It’s unacceptable.”

Carlson claims a harsh winter and layoffs at the pet food plant was the reason for his dramatic weight gain.

“You get a little stir crazy,” the 38 year old season ticket holder said. “Sometimes you need to lean on your friends, internet porn, and 20 dozen pierogies to get your mind right. I wish this lifestyle was consequence free, but as you can see, it’s not which fuckin’ blows.”

Members of Carlson’s section say they’ll work on getting him back down to the morbidly obese weight range by Week 4 of the regular season.



Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.