First Dozen Yankees Fans Receive a Chunk of Derek Jeter


You Wanna Piece of Me? Well, some Yankees fans got just that.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The first twelve New York Yankees fans at Thursday night’s farewell to Derek Jeter at Yankee Stadium, received a chunk of All-Star shortstop and baseball deity, after the Bronx Bombers defeated the visiting Baltimore Orioles 6-5 on his walk-off hit.

“I got his right leg,” chimed 11 year old, Timmy Logan, of Wayne, New Jersey. “I’ll treasure it forever. I plan on sleeping with it under my pillow.”

Jeter, who has been lavished with gifts across baseball, decided to give back. He hired professional chainsaw artist, David Manson, to hack off select parts of his body for a lucky few adoring fans to have as keepsakes.

“What better memento for a fan, than giving of yourself, literally,” said baseball historian, Peter Gammons. “I wouldn’t mind hanging his shoulder in my study. With the proper lighting, it’d be quite the conversation piece.”

Jeter, the Yankee’s all-time hit leader, and sixth in the game’s history, is a first ballot Hall of Famer, but has recently come under scrutiny by some powerful media members for perceived grandstanding during his much ballyhooed swan song. 

“Screw them,” said 58 year old, Jimmy Papadakis of Inwood, New York. “Let ‘em squawk like a bunch of two year olds. Jeets has class and dignity. I mean, sure he stunk up the joint this year, and looked the other way when the steroid crap was happening, and had the unmitigated sac to still bat second when he should have sat for the good of the team, and…wait, what was my point? Anyway, I wouldn’t have minded getting a piece of the Captain to add to my memorabilia collection. I could have put it right next to my Billy Martin ear.”


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