Eagles Fans Hold Out Hope in Easter Island, Time Warp, Blood Moon, Second Tuesday, Fault Line, Pyramid Apex, Fiery Death of Jerry Jones Scenario
PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) After being in the driver’s seat of the NFC East just three short weeks ago, the Philadelphia Eagles find themselves eliminated from the post season — bounced out after the Dallas Cowboy’s convincing 42-7 drubbing of the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday.
But are they really out?
Tony Locatelli of South Philadelphia is part of a growing group of Eagles fans that are clinging to a little known, but legitimate scenario that might get their beloved Eagles to the playoffs.
“Um, basically what has to happen is the stone faces on Easter Island have to turn towards Philly, we need to enter a small perforation in the galaxy where a portal opens and the third lunar tetrad is in full “red” phase on the second Tuesday of January,” a hopeful Locatelli shared. “Of course all that has to occur, while at the same time, there’s sizable seismic activity of at least 5.4 on the Richter Scale along the Cochabamba Fault Zone, the Great Pyramid in Giza needs to reflect the light of Venus onto the fifth palm frond of the twelfth tree in the El Saad Baktir Grouping, and finally, Cowboys Owner, Jerry Jones needs to plummet to a fiery death in a late model Lincoln SUV while nursing a tumbler of Maker’s Mark® Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. So, there’s hope. Go Birds!!”
Locatelli is currently under observation. Eagles Owner, Jeffrey Lurie is playing golf at his Arizona winter home.