Deep-Pocketed Donors Line Up for Chris Christie—Jerry Jones Fusion Ticket in 2016

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The White Stuff. Christie-Jones gunning for DC.

DALLAS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The GOP has some recalibrating to do after one of its darlings, New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, has teamed up with Dallas Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, to form an exploratory committee with the goal of  launching a third party candidacy for the White House.

“It’s no secret, Governor Christie and Mr. Jones have become quite chummy,” said political analyst, Caspar Lopez. “What began as a sports acquaintance with Christie being a lifelong fan of Jones’ Cowboys, has since transformed into not only a deep friendship, but serious plans for a presidential run in 2016.” 

Christie has long been among the top choices for the Republican Party’s presidential candidate. At the urging of Jones, Christie jumped ship to the new Fusion Party. Jones is positioning himself as the older, wiser, running mate with Texas roots, which should appeal to the most conservative wing of the GOP.

“It’s evident the Fusion Party has designs on stealing away a bulk of the Republicans’ thunder ,” added Lopez. “A Christie-Jones ticket, might be the answer. Christie appeals to the blue collar, Northeast conservative type, while Jones will draw the wealthy oil sector types with a dollop of the holy roller fervor. Who else could bring together the JR Ewing and Tony Soporano wings of the party? I can’t say for sure if ‘Badabing, Y’all’ will be their campaign slogan, but it should be. The Fusion Party was the brainchild of Jones’ personal advisor, J. Clement Deibert. “It was Deibert who suggested the two seemingly disparate strains of conservatism, lock arms in a collective goose step straight up Pennsylvania Avenue.”

Hundreds of donors lined up at a thousand-dollar-a-plate breakfast Monday morning in Dallas in support of the candidates, after both Jones and Christie were licking their wounds after a seemingly miraculous victory was snatched from their grasp with a controversial reversed call on Dez Bryant’s acrobatic catch near the end zone in a 26-21 loss to Green Bay.

“We’re not going to talk about that play,” Jones chirped. “I’m here to press the flesh and get my mitts on some of them pancakes and sausages. We’ve got more important things to concern ourselves with, like taking back the White House.”

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