Trump to Throw Out First One Hundred Immigrants at Nationals’ Home Opener
WASHINGTON DC (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Republican Presidential Candidate, Donald Trump announced he be giving the old “heave ho” to the first one hundred immigrants who enter Nationals Park on Thursday, April 7 when the Washington Nationals host the Miami Marlins for a scheduled 4:05 start.
“We’ll check their birth certificates,” the bombastic real estate mogul chimed before a small but rowdy throng of supporters. “I might be playing against type here, but we’re not targeting any one specific group. If you weren’t born in the good old U.S.A., you’re out!”
“I’m here on a work visa till May,” said Bulgarian computer tech, Ratko Alekseev. “I was hoping to experience for the first time ever, baseball in the United States. Graceful, bucolic, pastoral, serene. Baseball in all its welcoming, inclusive, style set against the backdrop of unspoiled Americana, families of all ethnicities and religions coming together for one common purpose, to cheer their heroes amidst the calm, lengthening shadows of a mild spring evening in your nation’s capitol. But I guess I can kick that notion to the curb, as I’d most certainly be hustled out and tossed into the back of a heavily fortified government issue but nondescript van as its speeds toward the Pentagon. Go Nats!”
Alekseev hopes to watch the game on television. When notified, Trump said he’d have some associates swing by Alekseev’s hotel and look into things, and that whatever happens “it’s gonna be great.”