After Finals Loss, Steph Curry Drops Thousands of Game-Used Mouthpieces On Cleveland Fans
CLEVELAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Embattled NBA MVP, Stephen Curry, frustrated after a Game 6 loss in Cleveland, infamously hurled his saliva-saturated mouthpiece into the crowd, striking a Cavaliers fan seconds after fouling out. He was ejected from the game as well. Apparently, the spritely shooting guard didn’t learn his lesson. After his Golden State Warriors were unable to close out the series on their home floor in Game 7, losing 93-89 to the Cavaliers, Curry hired a helicopter to dump a large cache of game-used mouthpieces over delirious Cavs fans.
“We were just walking down the middle of the street and loving life,” said Leviticus Townes of South Euclid, as dawn broke over the Northeast Ohio metropolis. “All seemed perfect till Curry pulled his highly unsanitary prank, and now we’re dealing with an unconfirmed outbreak of cholera. What a fucker that guy is!”
The Cleveland Municipal Authority sprung into action. Dozens of workers quickly gathered up the still moist sports gear and sprayed them down with disinfectant. “In cases like these, I prefer using a Biotine® rinse,” said Anthony Hobbs, Director of Discarded Refuse. “I hope Mr. Curry got his money’s worth, because I’m guessing he’s going to be slapped with a pretty hefty fine.”
NBA Commissioner, Adam Silver, still analyzing the situation before making any statements, did encourage Cleveland fans to hold onto whatever mouthpieces they can, as the their value is sure to increase.