Posts Tagged ‘A-Rod’

A-Rod’s Massage Parlor Encounter Culminates with Mediocre Ending

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Rub a Dub Flub. Madame Force’s rub down finishes apparently don’t live up to the deep tissue massages.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) – New York Yankee star Alex Rodriguez, no stranger to making news for his off-field behavior, has done it again. This time its not as a result of his entanglement with aging pop stars, but for the stunning details of his repeat visits to Madame Force, a little known Queens-based massage therapist, now known as the Tri-State Area’s undisputed champion of “Mediocre Endings.”

Sources inside the Yankees clubhouse are not commenting, but several of his teammates, disgusted with his inability to hit in the clutch and his reputation for diminishing the club’s monstrous payroll, are coming forward to throw their highly visible peer under the proverbial bus, telling a tale of Sartre-like sadness, 70′s arena-rock-band excess, and Bergman-esque depression. (more…)


A-Rod Promises To Hit Home Run for Perfectly Healthy, Rich Kid

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

Yard Work. H. Prescott Kent lunching on his fabulously sprawling estate in Southampton with his Aunt Carolyn. They're celebrating Prescott's good news that a famous Latin athlete will "go yard" just for him.

LONG ISLAND, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Just days before his twenty-first birthday, H. Prescott Kent of the Southampton, New York Kents, learned he’d be receiving an unusual present. Slugger Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees announced he would hit a homerun for the young, cultivated eligible bachelor. Kent says he’s not a baseball fan, but may look in on the proceedings in a game scheduled against the Toronto Blue Jays next weekend. “It’s nice of Mr. Rod to do whatever he’s going to do for me,” Kent said. “If I’m so inclined, I may take in the game live or watch it in Daddy’s study.” (more…)


A-Rod Promises To Hit Home Run for Perfectly Healthy, Rich Kid

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Yard Work. H. Prescott Kent lunching on his fabulously sprawling estate in Southampton with his Aunt Carolyn. They're celebrating Prescott's good news that a famous Latin athlete will "go yard" just for him.

LONG ISLAND, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Just days before his twenty-first birthday, H. Prescott Kent of the Southampton, New York Kents, learned he’d be receiving an unusual present. Slugger Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees announced he would hit a homerun for the young, cultivated eligible bachelor. Kent says he’s not a baseball fan, but may look in on the proceedings in a game scheduled against the Kansas City Royals this weekend when A-Rod could be going for his 600th career dinger, unless he reaches the mark sooner. “It’s nice of Mr. Rod to do whatever he’s going to do for me,” Kent said. “If I’m so inclined, I may take in the game live or watch it in Daddy’s study.” (more…)


Jeter-A-Rod Press Conference Descends into Uncomfortably Long, Homoerotic Staring Contest

Friday, October 16th, 2009

 

Oh...Rod.  The homoerotic ambiguity flows like maple syrup in the Bronx.

Oh...Rod. The homoerotic ambiguity flows like maple syrup in the Bronx.

 

 

 

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) On the eve of the American League Championship Series, the standard pre-series posturing was kicked to the curb when Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez took to the podium in a rare dual appearance before a throng of media.   (more…)