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Posts Tagged ‘Baron Davis’

Knicks Still Alive But Large, Ominous Cyst Appears in Locker Room

Monday, May 7th, 2012

Melo Fellow. Carmelo Anthony dropped 41 on Heat, but was overshadowed by large mass.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The New York Knicks rode a 41 point performance by Carmelo Anthony, staving off elimination and defeating the heavily favored Miami Heat on Sunday, pushing the series to a Game 5.

“We’re still alive!” said point guard Baron Davis.

Davis’ enthusiasm was quickly quelled when a large, grey, spongey mass rolled into the locker room seconds after the victory interfering with reporters questions, and players toweling off. The near 12 meter object was reported to give off the faint whiff of despair.  (more…)

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Amar’e Stoudemire Planned to Put Severed Hand For Sale on Ebay

Friday, May 4th, 2012

Handy Guy. Amar'e Stoudemire's hand could have been eBay bound.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Once the grizzly circumstances surrounding Amar’e Stoudemire’s dangling hand came to light, the New York Knicks superstar said if the hand couldn’t be saved he was prepared to auction it off on eBay®.

“It’s a perfectly good hand, suitable for framing or a lovely coffee table conversation piece. As you can see, I had a contingency plan if I was going to lose the hand. I figured why not make a buck. The upshot is I can still play some one handed piano pieces.” (more…)

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