GLENDALE, AZ (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) New England Patriots Head Coach, Bill Belichick has been working around the clock to figure a way to replace the Seattle Seahawks allotment of league authorized footballs for the Super Bowl with buttered ones.
“I’ve been on the phone with Anthony ‘Tony Cholesterol’ Randazzo and the fine folks over at Land-O-Lakes to work a little eleventh hour magic on Super Bowl Sunday,” said the Pats’ big honcho. “Take it from me, in cold weather, deflated balls can make a difference. But the weather should be pristine in Arizona, so we’re going with butter. I suspect it’ll play havoc with the other team’s grip. We’ll do anything to gain an advantage. If it requires a tasty dairy product strategically slathered on the old pigskin, so be it.” (more…)