STATE COLLEGE, PA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) After nearly a half century of having one man at the helm of their football team, Penn State hired New England Patriots offensive coordinator and quarterback’s coach Bill O’Brien as their new man. He’ll assume his head coaching duties once the Pats’ post season ends. In a wildly popular move to win over a harrowed fan base, O’Brien repeatedly inserted a rusty goal post in the anus of former defensive coach and accused child molester, Jerry Sandusky, the man at the center of the scandal that brought down the football program and ultimately cost legend Joe Paterno his job.
A badly beaten Sandusky was dragged before the press corps, college staff, players, and fans alike in a ritual oddly reminiscent of fraternity hazing, as O’Brien shoved the post deep into his posterior. (more…)