Posts Tagged ‘Blake Griffin’

Giant Crab Emerges From Pacific and Does Battle With Blake Griffin

Tuesday, July 26th, 2016

Fallout Boy. This radioactive, mutated fella met his match when he battled Clippers star, Blake Griffin.

LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) It’s been over four years since the Fukishima Nuclear Plant disaster, but reports of mutated, mammoth sized (but very dead) sea creatures washing up on the California coast linger.

Others claim the incidents are flat out hoaxes or at the very least, overly hyped tales of much lesser events. But even the most skeptical of critics scratched their collective head when a creature some Japanese islanders call Ebhira, emerged near Redondo Beach late yesterday afternoon.  The nearly twenty story high crab surfaced in the churning waters and made a direct path for the Staples Center where the LA Clippers call home. (more…)

From the Archives: Diners Fail to Aid NBA’s Most Flagrant Flopper During Life-Threatening Choking Fit

Monday, November 10th, 2014

Argentine soap opera star turned basketball player Manu Ginobli demonstrates the well-honed theatrical chops that almost lead to his death yesterday. 

LOS ANGELES, CA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) —  Manu Ginobli, the NBA’s most frequent and arguably most accomplished  flopper,  came perilously close to losing his life at a popular bistro yesterday afternoon.  In town for the second game of the Spurs-Clippers conference semi-final,  Ginobli was eating a tuna melt when something lodged in his throat, causing a violent coughing fit. According to eye witnesses, annoyed diners rolled their eyes even as Ginobli thrashed violently about and crashed into a neighboring table, dramatically collapsing to the floor, wide-eyed and aghast, as though catching a phantom elbow to the back of the head.

“We’ve seen it too many times before, no one was buying,” said Mitchell Reiner, an actor between roles. “Plus, you’ve got to understand, here in LA a flop is a movie that tanks. An over-emoting basketball player known for reacting to a stiff breeze like he was shot from a cannon isn’t going to get anyone’s attention.” (more…)