Posts Tagged ‘Celtics’

Lockdown: Introducing TSD’s Sideline Reporter Ric “Word” Testaverde, Federal Inmate 18230-1113

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

 

 

TSD’s “sideline” reporter, Ric Testaverde.

 

Ric “Word” Testaverde

First, a shout out to my boys over at the Daily. Taking a shot on an inmate ain’t no simple thing. I mean, anyone who been reading my shit for the past four years knows I got game. Of course if you’ve been reading my shit you’re doing time, unless you’re one of them fucked up cats that subscribe to prison rags – in which case you’re probably some fat, horny chick with a big ole ass hanging out of a thong who likes baking us them cakes that taste like burnt rubber and cotton balls. Big Sid over in Cell Block C, he sucks em down, me, I get one of them nasty ass things and I’m putting it under the pillow of some cat whose head I wanna see over a toilet bowl, puke pouring out like shit from a busted septic tank.

But I got to give the TSD dudes props – not just for giving me a shot, but hey, I’m out in three years and I’ll be looking for a steady gig. I been in five federal pens in the past eight years. The day I’m out first place I go is the Daily home office to thank the fellas and make a couple of calls. I got plans. (more…)


Celtics’ Evil Leprechaun Terrorizes Locker Room

Tuesday, March 17th, 2015

When Irish Eyes Are Smilin’. This smile means you’re through.

BOSTON (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Boston Celtics have won five in a row and are still gunning for a slot in the post-season, but many Celtics players have stopped focusing on playing after what happened yesterday after their 108-89 victory over Philadelphia. (more…)


Kobe Gorges Himself in Post Win Celebration

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Kobe Beefed Up. Bryant moments after winning it all.

LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Kobe Bryant captured the fifth championship ring of his illustrious career on Thursday night as the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Boston Celtics 83-79.

With tears streaming from his eyes, Lakers teammate Pau Gasol announced to teammates his family, visiting from Spain, prepared a sumptuous Spanish buffet for the entire team. (more…)


Ron Jeremy Look-alike Stan Van Gundy Has Porn Star Address Team

Friday, May 28th, 2010

Twelve Inch J. Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy says the Lakers have no answers for his team's length, width and ability to nail the clutch three-point money shot.

BOSTON (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Unfairly or not, excitable Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has been called panic-prone, particularly in tense, late-game situations.  Few, however, question Van Gundy’s preparation, as evidenced when he took the unusual extra step of bringing in famed porn star Ron Jeremy  to address the team before Thursday’s practice. Many have pointed to the striking resemblance between the two, and Van Gundy thought an informal Q&A with the popular adult film star would loosen the team up as they anxiously await Friday’s game six against the Boston Celtics. (more…)


Boston Bruins Issue Formal Apology to Pats, Sox, and Celts for Not Being Championshippy Enough

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Boston Mangler. This unidentified Bruins player contemplates a career change.

Beantown faithful shout at NHL franchise: “Out Damn Spot!”

BOSTON (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — With the Celtics taking aim at their second NBA title in three years, and the Patriots and Red Sox combining for five championships in less than a decade, the Boston Bruins appear to be the red-headed stepchild in an otherwise big happy New England family. “Every city has a skeleton in its closet – and when we open up ours, the Bruins fall out.” said New England Patriots owner Robert Craft alluding to a city still licking it’s wounds from an improbable collapse a week ago against the Philadelphia Flyers. (more…)