Have a Ball. By the seventh inning, this puppy had seen better days.

CLEVELAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In a cost cutting move that has Major League Baseball rethinking certain traditions, the Cleveland Indians played Sunday’s game with just one baseball.

The Indians defeated the Toronto Blue Jays 4-3 earning their first win of the young season in a game that saw their catcher Carlos Santana celebrate this 26th birthday by walloping two home runs. The ball was tossed back at the request of the public address announcer amid a smattering of boos and profound confusion.

“It (the ball) started looking pretty tattered by the seventh inning, but they kept on using it.” said Blue Jays shortstop Yunel Escobar. “But for me it was the look on that seven year old boy’s face when he caught a foul ball. That’s when security wrestled it from his tiny little hands as tears flowed freely and shock reverberated throughout section 232. It was kinda fucked up a little bit.” (more…)

Whoop! There It Is! Opening a Can of This Can Smart. One of the 25 illegally transported Whoop-Ass cans.

CINCINNATI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Cincinnati Reds, winners of eight of their last ten games, as well as five in a row, began their winning ways last week in Houston. So, what could be wrong? Plenty. The club faces a heap of trouble with the authorities for transporting what appears to be twenty-five cans of Whoop-Ass across state lines.

“That’s a problem,” said officer Melvin Cheeks. “I’m not sure what the law is in Ohio, but here in Texas, possession of Whoop-Ass is a misdemeanor, but bringing it into Texas across state lines is a felony.  Someone has some explaining to do.”

Whoop-Ass, a metaphorical substance some novelty companies have jokingly canned, has not been banned by Major League Baseball. MLB Commissioner Bud Selig complained that the law enforcement agencies have lost their sense of humor. (more…)

Grabbed this video capture with an iPhone. Cleveland Indians right fielder Shin-Soo Choo makes an incredible sliding catch in right field against the White Sox. Meanwhile, the guy in the foreground holding the beer could care less. Hey buddy, if you don’t have the baseball savvy to turn around and watch some spectacular defense, you’re probably better served enjoying your brew at the corner bar. Its cheaper.

Wood Finish? Not if he's treated with teak oil.

CLEVELAND, OH (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Ten years ago Chicago Cubs phenom Kerry Wood was full of promise. Though not a complete bust, the injury riddled hurler never fully lived up to the hype. However, after saving 34 games for the North Siders last season, Wood parlayed that success and became the closer for the Cleveland Indians this year. But fans of the Tribe are now crestfallen when it was announced today the 31 year old right hander developed splinters.

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The House that Biden Kicks Ass in. VP Joe Biden will toss out the first drunk, right here.

BRONX, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Since 1923 Yankees Stadium has hosted World Series games, football games, boxing matches, concerts, and papal visits. The question on New York area sports fans’ minds is “Can the new Yankee Stadium ever live up to its predecessor?”

On April 16th, everyone will find out as the Yankees officially debut during their home opener in their new digs. To commemorate the event, Vice President, Joe Biden will throw out the first drunk.

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