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Posts Tagged ‘Detroit Lions’

Lions Select Nickelback in NFL Draft

Friday, April 27th, 2012

Nickel For Your Thoughts. Lions fans are probably thinking a lot about this selection.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Detroit Lions have certainly improved over the past couple of seasons, which has a catch 22 effect, their selection position in the 2012 NFL Draft.

“We wanted to something to send a ripple effect throughout the entire league,” said Lions General Manager Martin Mayhew. “Granted, it’s a bit unorthodox, but people will remember us for this. Personally, I think it will define my legacy.”

With the 23rd pick in the draft, the Lions selected Canadian rock group, Nickelback. (more…)

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Lions Coach Cries Like Pussy After “Too Hard” Handshake

Monday, October 17th, 2011
 

Shake Up. Harbaugh and Schwartz get it on.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) After his team was beaten for the first time this season, Detroit Lions Head Coach Jim Schwartz was reduced to tears by a handshake from the opposing coach.

Excited by his team’s 25-19 victory, San Francisco 49ers Head Coach Jim Harbaugh met Schwartz at midfield for the traditional handshake, but “overtaken by exuberance” Harbaugh slapped his hand into Schwartz’s, then slapped Schwartz in the back.  The two actions caused tears to flow from Schwartz’s face. (more…)

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Detroit Lions Fan Claims Team’s 0-16 Record as “Total Loss” on Tax Filing

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

 

 

Lions fan Hal Abrams may find the shopping bag handy should the IRS challenge his 2008 tax filing. to

Lions fan Hal Abrams may find the shopping bag handy should the IRS challenge his 2008 tax filing.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) – It was a rough year for Detroit area small business owners. It was particularly rough if you were also a fan of the hapless Detroit Lions, whose winless 2008 season set an NFL record for futility. While both the team’s and the city’s recovery are expected to be a long way off, one small business owner stands to reap a modest windfall, claiming the Lions’ winless 2008 campaign as a “total loss” on his recent tax filing.  

Owner and operator of a small print shop, 58 year old Hal Abrams insists the team’s woes had a direct, albeit difficult to measure, correlation on his slumping business.  

“For sixteen consecutive Mondays it was a morgue in here,” said Abrams, shooing away a mangy alley cat that wandered across one of his idle printing presses. “Week after week, it was just brutal.  I’ll admit I didn’t take it well. After week six it was obvious we weren’t going anywhere…it got to the point no one wanted to be around me, I just wasn’t in any mood. By week eight I was lucky if someone walked in off the street to use the photocopier.” (more…)

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