You Dip, I Dip, We Dip. The brothers will be "manning" the dip.

NEW ORLEANS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The theme is brothers. The Harbaugh brothers will go head to head in 49ers-Ravens Super Bowl, but the Manning brothers plan to serve notice as well. Quarterback sibling rivals, Peyton and Eli, will enjoy a get together with a select group of teammates, friends, and family members for Sunday’s big game. Late in the 4th quarter, both Peyton and Eli say whether the game is a nail biter or blowout — whether there’s a palpable malaise or edge of seat frenzy — they plan on springing into action.

“We’re gonna fire up a brimming bowl of piping hot cheese dip and fresh corn chips to ignite the viewers into a demented disorder of dipping delight.” Peyton Manning said.

“Trust me when I tell ya, it’s gonna be some serious motherfuckin‘ cheese dip!” chimed wide receiver Demaryius Thomas, a Bronco teammate of Peyton Manning’s. “P has got it goin‘ on with that glorious melted pastiche of Wisconsin cheddar, Époisses de Bourgogne, and Caprino della Valbrevenna with a hint of Bolivian chilies.” (more…)

A Leg Up on the Competition. Pop icon Madonna just moments before her unfortunate accident.

INDIANAPOLIS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Pop icon, Madonna lip synced her way into Super Bowl history as her halftime show at Super Bowl XLVI thrilled the faithful at Lucas Oil Stadium. The highly anticipated performance was sandwiched between two  halves of football that saw the New York Giants defeat the New England Patriots 21-17.

Madonna seemed to get through the act well, but eight minutes in, the prosthesis that replaced her right leg after botched hip surgery last June, soared across the stage after a high kick nearly decapitating co-performer, Cee Lo Green. However, the 53 year old legend soldiered on as apparently few in the crowd noticed. (more…)

Manning Up? Eli Manning will have to man up. Here he is seconds after shaving went askew.

INDIANAPOLIS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Teammates were concerned when New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning switched from a razor to an electric shaver last week, claiming he won’t get as close a shave and problems have been known to occur.

“I told him.” said defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul. “You get two or three day’s growth caught up in those rotating blades and the shit can hit the fan.”

Manning’s right cheek whiskers got caught in the Philips Norelco® AT810 Powertouch with Aquatec Technology, then eventually his entire face succumbed to the floating heads resulting in a cranial explosion. (more…)

Manning Up. Sibling rivalry dates back to the heyday of the Smothers Brothers - and most likely before.

INDIANAPOLIS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) After suffering a 38-14 thumping at the hands of his older, more successful brother, Eli Manning went on a nearly forty five minute tirade about growing up in the Manning family.

“When I was a kid it was always ‘Peyton won the Pass, Punt and Kick,’” Eli seethed as an overflowing media contingent jockeyed for position. “‘Peyton won the Most Outstanding Players award,’ ‘Peyton is dating Trudy Hollister, the hottest cheerleader and best friggin’ blow job in Louisiana,’ ‘Peyton this, Peyton that. Peyton Peyton Peyton. Peyton! Peyton! Motherfucking Peyton!’” (more…)