Posts Tagged ‘Golden State Warriors’

From the Archives: LeBron James Admits He Enjoys Speeding Through School Zones Just Because He’s LeBron James

Thursday, November 17th, 2016
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School Daze. LBJ just havin’ fun.

CLEVELAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Before traveling westward for Game 1 of the NBA Finals, Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James got in a little “me” time.  He enjoyed a thrilled-packed afternoon of illegal fireworks displays near a nursing home, and driving recklessly at high rates of speed through school zones.

“Just blowin’ off a little steam,” the All-Star forward chimed. “Some people like to listen to some jams, others toss back a cold one, or spark up a big ass fatty. LBJ likes to endanger the innocent with indiscriminant hi jinx just because I’m LBJ, dig?” (more…)


After Finals Loss, Steph Curry Drops Thousands of Game-Used Mouthpieces On Cleveland Fans

Monday, June 20th, 2016
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Getting Mouthy. Golden State Warriors superstar, Steph Curry’s little gift for the people of Cleveland.

CLEVELAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Embattled NBA MVP, Stephen Curry, frustrated after a Game 6 loss in Cleveland, infamously hurled his saliva-saturated mouthpiece into the crowd, striking a Cavaliers fan seconds after fouling out. He was ejected from the game as well. Apparently, the spritely shooting guard didn’t learn his lesson. After his Golden State Warriors were unable to close out the series on their home floor in Game 7, losing 93-89 to the Cavaliers, Curry hired a helicopter to dump a large cache of game-used mouthpieces over delirious Cavs fans. (more…)


Golden State Warriors Let Little Used Justin Holiday Hang Out in Locker Room For a Bit

Wednesday, June 17th, 2015
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Hi, I’m Justin. This undated photo shows how desperate Holiday is to see some PT.

CLEVELAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Golden State Warriors won their first NBA title in 40 years defeating the Cleveland Cavaliers 105-97 in Game 6 Tuesday night in Cleveland. Small forward, Justin Holiday, who saw little or no time in the post-season sat patiently at the end of the bench hoping to see some playing time. When the Warriors clinched the title and the celebration began, a thrilled Holiday was told he’d be allowed to partake in a portion of the festivities.

“I think he had a sip of champagne and touched the trophy for a second which was proportionate to his contribution,” said All-Star guard and league MVP, Steph Curry. “I suppose we’ll see him back in Oakland, that is if he can find a Greyhound near the Econo Lodge he’s staying at.” (more…)


Local Guy Announces He Might Change Up Menu For NBA Finals Get-Togethers

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2015
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All For Not. Mickey Foster’s Kitchen might remain eerily empty.

PARMA, OH (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Mickey Foster has been a Cavaliers fan since he was a boy. The thought of the Cavs returning to the NBA Finals has him going in several directions at once. He planned ahead, anticipating a deep run into the playoffs, and put in for his vacation time early. Foster has been the “go to” guy for several years when it comes to hosting sports parties for his friends. They’re all eager to attend every game at his house, but privately some have expressed concern about some menu modifications the 43 year old is planning. (more…)


Steph Curry Decorates James Harden’s Hotel Room in Warriors Colors

Thursday, May 28th, 2015
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Fallen On Harden Times. The Beard is down and out.

OAKLAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Golden State Warriors defeaed the Houston Rockets 104-90 to advance to the NBA Finals.  After having the game of his life on Monday night with 45 points, Houston Rockets star, James Harden had a night to forget Wednesday at the Oracle Arena. Thirteen turnovers, air balls, a crowd mockingly chanting his name, and 48 excruciating minutes or pure basketball torture later, Harden slowly meandered back to the sanctuary of his hotel room to begin the slow process of emotional healing. That’s when he was hit with the nail in the coffin — a room decked out in full Warriors blue and gold courtesy of Warriors star, and league MVP, Steph Curry. (more…)


Top Doctors Say Golden State Warriors Fans Suffer From Freakish Mass Delusion

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Take two Alprazolam and call me in the morning. Docs tell Warriors fans to chill out and just accept the fact that their team bites it.

OAKLAND, CA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) ˜ They haven’t sniffed an NBA title since the 1974-75 season, when Rick Barry led them to their last championship. But Golden State Warriors fans keep going to games hoping “this will be the year.”

At first the NBA League Office thought that it was just a loyal group of Bay Area basketball fans that support the team. But after an exhaustive three year study, the American Medical Association has determined that Warriors fans are suffering from an unusual condition known as Collective Monothematic Delusion. (more…)