Posts Tagged ‘NHL’

Gazpacho Vendor at Columbus Blue Jackets Games Can’t Understand Low Sales

Thursday, October 20th, 2016

 

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No Soup for Me! Apparently that’s all one vendor is hearing at Nationwide Arena in Columbus.

COLUMBUS, OH (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Juan Del Santo has struggled to find work for two years, and is feeling the effects of a bleak economy. The former limo service owner who came to the United States from Spain in 1997, was forced to give up his business. He recently got part time work as a vendor at Columbus Blue Jackets games. Unfortunately for him, the Spanish soup Gazpacho, which is served cold, is not catching on as he’d hoped.

“I realize hockey arenas are cold and many people like to sip hot cocoa or coffee, but beer is cold, and people drink that.” said the disillusioned entrepreneur. “My Gazpacho is wonderful, it’s my grandmother Isabella’s recipe. It’s nutritious and delicious. Apparently folks here in the rust belt have difficulty kicking their nachos and footlong dogs to the curb for this Andalucian delicacy. Well, it’s their loss.” (more…)


NHL Set to Go Entire Season without Being Discussed on Sports Radio

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

Puck off!!! WFAN’s Mike Francesa says “I ain’t talking hockey this year, or any year. You got that schmuck?”

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The New York Rangers, like every other NHL team have begun the shortened season. Except this year there’s an additional twist.

“I think this just might be the year,” said Defenseman, Stu Bickel. “This might be the year when no one talks about us at all – which is kind of nice considering a lot of us are very sensitive about being criticized in the first place.”

The NHL league office is hoping all thirty teams will go unnoticed on the highly critical sports radio programs around North America. (more…)


Blackhawks Drink From Lord Stanley’s Cup; Find Drool and Old Teeth

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Cup in the Air. Blackhawks team members hoist the Stanley Cup and drink it's unsanitary contents.

PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Perhaps it played out as the hockey gods had intended.  A dominant Chicago Blackhawks team ended the improbable run to history made by the Philadelphia Flyers last night before a capacity crowd decked out in orange and black at Wachovia Center in Philadelphia.

“This is amazing. There is no feeling to describe it,” said defenseman Duncan Keith. “drinking from Lord Stanley’s Cup was sweet – with a lingering aftertaste of ancient backwash.” (more…)


NHL FINALS: Ghost of Kate Smith Haunting Chicago’s United Center

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

A Kate Worse Than Death. Long dead songstress Kate Smith is rattling Chicagoland.

CHICAGO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) To Philadelphia Flyers fans she is revered and loved.  Her stirring rendition of “God Bless America” has left an indelible mark on the city’s franchise – especially their win totals when recordings of the song are played.

But now, nearly a quarter century since the beloved songstress has passed, something sinister may be afoot in the Windy City. (more…)


Flyers’ “Return From Dead” Continues to Terrorize Stunned Bostonians

Monday, May 17th, 2010

Two Minutes for Slashing. Flyers' Michael Leighton gets a rare goalie slashing penalty.

BOSTON (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In what is being heralded as one of the greatest comebacks in sports history, the Philadelphia Flyers’ were summoned by the hockey gods to rise from the dead – their creaky, brittle, decaying bones new covered with flesh.

Philadelphia’s miraculous comeback was so complete, that many sports writer’s referred to it as a “return from the dead.” Little did these scribes know that days after the Bruins’ humiliating defeat, the undead Flyers would continue to plague Bostonians everywhere.

It’s true. (more…)