Posts Tagged ‘Kansas City Chiefs’

From the Archives: Andy Reid Purportedly Has Near Life Experience

Friday, October 28th, 2016
andy_reid

Life Reidings? Apparently there’s something happening.

KANSAS CITY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach, Andy Reid unquestionably has has turned things around in his short tenure in town, but life in the NFL changes every week, which may be a part of the reason for an extremely unusual occurrence that may be both physiological and paranormal.

“It appears the coach had a near life experience.” said Chiefs General Manager, John Dorsey. “We consider this a positive since no one has been able to get a pulse from him since 2008.”

Unlike a near death experience, where a person might have the not uncommon sense of crossing over to another dimension which some religious believers say could be an afterlife, the near life experience is infinitely more rare. (more…)


A TSD Classique: Chester McGlockton Mistakenly Willed Organs for Research to Alma Mater’s English Department

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

 

 

Chester Left to Fester. McGlockton awaits position in proper department.

 

CLEMSON, SC (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Former All-Pro Defensive Tackle, Chester McGlockton passed away of an apparent heart attack in November at the age of 42. But McGlockton wanted to leave a legacy beyond football.

“He signed his organ donor card, and made specific arrangements to leave his body to the science here at his alma mater, Clemson University.” said Assistant Dean, Roger Phillips. “Unfortunately, he accidentally left his remains to the English Department.”

“Awkward!” said English Department Chairperson, Sandra Wilcox. “Now what we’ve got are students intently focused on Shakespeare, James and Yeats tiptoeing around the proverbial elephant in the room. None of us know what to do. We’ve phoned, texted, emailed and instant messaged the science lab, but I think they’re just over there having a good laugh over the whole matter. Meanwhile, here we are, the beneficiaries of Mr. McGlockton’s generous donation – and we’re all thumbs, in the accepted sense of the term.” (more…)


Researching Movie Role, Seth Rogen Steps In As Aaron Rodgers, Packers Loses First Game

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Green Hornet Fails Green Bay. Seth Rogen's performance not Oscar worthy.

KANSAS CITY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In pads and uniform, he may have looked like Aaron Rodgers, he may at times even played like Aaron Rodgers, but A List actor Seth Rogen took full responsibility for the Green Bay Packers loss, and a shot at immortality.

“Granted, I threw for 235 yards and a touchdown, but I was outplayed by Kyle Orton – Kyle Fucking Orton!” seethed Rogen. (more…)