Posts Tagged ‘Mets’

Nineteen Mets Injured in Frenzy of Post-Game Finger Pointing

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010


Angry finger-pointing spills out onto field after Mets get hammered by the hapless Nationals.

WASHINGTON, DC (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) —No one knew precisely what triggered it, but suddenly the morgue-like locker room transformed into a furious martial arts flick, as fingers came flying from all directions. They came fast and they came hard and when it was all over, nineteen Mets — including two coaches and PR Director Jay Horowitz — were taken to a local hospital for an assortment of minor injuries. But amid all the ugly finger pointing, it was Mets fans who got the ultimate finger, as they were on the receiving end of another defeat in a dismal season, losing to the lowly Washington Nationals, 13-3, marking their sixth loss in eight games.

After the game, the players and coaches sullenly filed into the locker room, wearing expressions ranging from dazed to confused. Those able to summon the strength to speak to reporters, did so in a low, affectless monotone, wrapping their hurt in a thick gauze of cliché: It wasn’t in the cards…We just didn’t execute…it’s a humbling game…etc. (more…)

Guy Who Had One Major League At-Bat in 1990 Still Calls Ex-Girlfriend to Gloat

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

One Hit Blunder. Only known pic of Liddell.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) On June 3, 1990 catcher Dave Liddell made his first and only appearance in the Major Leagues with the New York Mets. In his only at-bat, he singled then “retired” with a perfect 1.000 batting average.

There are others in baseball who’ve accomplished the same feat, but none have used the achievement to their advantage quite the way Liddell has. (more…)


Robert De Niro’s Plan to Bring Third Baseball Team to New York Gets Raves at Press Conference

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

Teamwork! That’s what Robert De Niro wants to see if he’s successful in bringing a third Major League franchise to New York.

NEW YORK  (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) As a boy, Robert De Niro didn’t know Mickey Mantle from Mickey Mouse. Though he had virtually no interest in the sport, he played a baseball player in Bang the Drum Slowly, played a deranged baseball fan in The Fan, and even whacked a guy with bat while playing Al Capone in The Untouchables. So it’s safe to say, he’s picked up a little bit about the game – a little bit.

But now De Niro is leading a group which plans on clearing space in the TriBeCa neighborhood and building a 45,000 seat stadium, to add the New York metropolitan area’s third Major League franchise. (more…)


Total Dick With Cell Phone Who Waves to Girlfriend From Ball Game Finally Gets Overdue Beat Down

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Cell-ebration in New York. Mets fans take down this dude.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Arnold Harris, who claims to have six years ago, started the trend of waving on camera to family and friends while on his cell phone has finally gotten what’s been coming to him – a vicious and full beat down from three drunken Mets fans. The Mets defeated Harris’ Padres 2-1 in eleven innings.

Harris, a lifelong San Diego Padres fan, has been following his team around the country since Opening Day on April 5th. Tuesday night he was at Citi Field in New York and began his usual routine of sitting behind home plate, enjoying nachos, and waving to his girlfriend Darlene Yakabovich while the two were having a rather animated cell phone conversation. (more…)


Jamie Moyer: Rod Barajas Makes Me Throw Up in My Mouth a Little Bit

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

Something Smells Rod-ten. Rod Barajas layin' on the stank.

PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Philadelphia Phillies offense returned over the weekend after an embarrassing loss Friday night in the opening game of a three game series with the New York Mets.

Former Phillie, catcher Rod Barajas was at the center of the Mets’ offense in Friday’s 9-1 shellacking of Kyle Kendrick, and again, Sunday evening when he took forty-seven year old Jamie Moyer deep. But the Phillies exploded for nine runs in the fourth inning en route to an 11-5 victory.

After the game, Jamie Moyer didn’t pull any punches about his feelings for his former teammate. (more…)


Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Yikes! But I have to call it fairly.

BOCA RATON, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) If you’re a baseball fan – I mean a hardcore, dyed in the wool baseball, you probably have the MLB package on your cable or satellite TV deal. You may be like me and even have the MLB app on your iPhone. You just can’t get away from your team. And if you’re a transplant like I am – that is, root for your original home team in your new home city, well then these technological wonders are an absolute necessity.

Being a Phillies fan in Miami isn’t terrible.  They’re in the same division. So, given the way the unbalanced schedule currently sits, I get to see my beloved Fightins for three series a year. Add a trip up north once a summer to the City of Brotherly Love, and that’s not bad at all. But for me, its not enough. After all, I’m a chronic.  I need to follow all 162 games a year, let alone the post season.

But here in lies the rub. (more…)


New York Mets Demoted to Triple A

Friday, April 16th, 2010

Met Expectations. At least Mr. Met will remain in the Majors. But for how long?

FLUSHING, QUEENS NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Off to another slow start and not expected to contend in the National League East in 2010, the New York Mets will suspend their Major League operations having been sent down to Triple A.

“This is temporary,” said Mets General Manager Omar Minaya. “I suspect it’ll be a week or two until the guys straighten a few things out.  Naturally we’ll have to forfeit our Major League games over that period, but truthfully, does it make a difference?” (more…)


Bastard Son of Charles Manson Named Bench Coach of Mets A League Team

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Screwball. Jimmy Manson’s avant-garde baseball theories might have a ripple effect throughout the entire Mets system.

ST. LUCIE, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Jimmy Manson, the 47 year old bastard son of killer Charles Manson was named Bench Coach of the New York Mets Single-A affiliate, St. Lucie Mets.

The younger Manson, who bears a striking resemblance to his infamous father, says he doesn’t remember much about his dad and was raised by his aunt and uncle. His mother, known simply as “Buzzie,” disappeared without a trace in June of 1969, though it is believed her voice can be heard singing backup on a series of folk-rock recordings by the Manson Family done at Spahn Ranch in the spring of 1968. (more…)


WORLD SERIES Game One: Random Distraught Mets Fan Sets Himself Ablaze During Seventh Inning Stretch

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Mets Get Hot! Finally, something connected to the Mets gets hot, just in time for post season.

Mets Get Hot! Finally, something connected to the Mets gets hot, just in time for post season.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Benny Diablo, a 39 year old Mets fan from Queens, had seen enough. The thought of the hated, crosstown Yankees playing in their fortieth World Series turned his stomach. But seeing his National League East rival Phillies putting a 6-1 thumping on the Bronx Bombers sealed the deal. (more…)


Phillies Sign 37 Year Old Pedro Martinez to Bolster Rotation; Mets Answer Phils by Signing Cy Young

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

 

Forever Young. Cy Young is expected to pass his physical.

Forever Young. Cy Young is expected to pass his physical.

 

 

FLUSHING, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) New York Mets General Manager Omar Minaya still feels his ball club can win the National League East and proved it today in an answer of sorts to the Phillies signing of former Met, Pedro Martinez. The Mets signed legendary Hall of Famer and 511 game winner Cy Young. Young, who died in 1955, still has to pass his physical and is scheduled to make a three minor league starts  before joining the big club, most likely by August 1.   (more…)


Guy Who Had One Major League At-Bat in 1990 Still Calls Ex-Girlfriend to Gloat

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
One Hit Blunder. Only known pic of Liddell.

One Hit Blunder. Only known pic of Liddell.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) On June 3, 1990 catcher Dave Liddell made his first and only appearance in the Major Leagues with the New York Mets. In his only at-bat, he singled then “retired” with a perfect 1.000 batting average.

There are others in baseball who’ve accomplished the same feat, but none have used the achievement to their advantage quite the way Liddell has.

Shunned by his girlfriend Molly Hoover in 1988, the career minor leaguer vowed he’d make the Majors someday, and she would rue the day she turned her back on a “future” Major Leaguer.  Immediately after game, he called her to tell her what he had done, and that big bucks were on the way, which she of course would miss out on.

(more…)


Mets’ Carlos Beltran Working on Entire New Set of Batter’s Box Quirks

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

 

Wank Fest 2009. Carlos Beltran contemplates new batting box routine during spring training.

Wank Fest 2009. Carlos Beltran contemplates new batting box routine during spring training.

 

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service)  Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran is no different than almost every other Major Leaguer; he has his own set of batter’s box rituals between pitches. 

Most fans are very familiar with a batter’s distinct style of preparing to make contact with the pitcher’s offering; spitting, crotch adjustment, neck tilts, flexing, praying, elbow pumping – the list seems endless.  But now Beltran is raising the bar. 

“Well, the first thing I do is pleasure myself before each at bat,” the veteran outfielder said. “I generally think of Angelina Jolie, or, if there’s a hot babe in the Founder’s Section, I’ll think of her as I discreetly rub up against my bat in the on-deck circle.

(more…)