A meal fit for a Prince. Tigers’ slugger Prince Fielder has some serious eating to do. And he’ll get first crack at this bad boy.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Detroit Tigers rotund slugger Prince Fielder has asked Director of Clubhouse Operations Larry Corsica to have his locker moved along side of the team’s buffet table. “I had to walk past Alex Avila, Justin Verlander and a slew of reporters just to get to the pizza, pasta and pierogies,” Fielder bemoaned. “By the time I got there it was picked over and breathed on – drops of spittle from Lord knows who. That’s bullshit. But no more.”

“Prince is one of the leaders of this ball club,” said manager Jim Leyland. “He’s a star in this town – a very large star. And with a professional eater of Prince’s stature…well, let’s just say I wouldn’t want to get in his way when he’s fixin’ to get his chops around a plate of Veal Scaloppini.” (more…)

One Big Fat Greek Reporter. Takis Mihopoulos follows Brewers catcher Kottarras. And that's it.

MILWAUKEE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Unlike the throngs of Japanese reporters who’ve followed Ichiro Suzuki during his entire time in Seattle, Milwaukee Brewers’ catcher, George Kottaras has only one countryman to answer to, Takis Mihopoulos.

“Baseball isn’t exactly thriving in Greece.” Kottarras said. “So, the Hellenic Media Service sent one guy to follow me.”

Mihopoulos reports Kottaras’ exploits back to Greece for Greeks interested in the light-hitting catcher’s performances and recipes for Baklava. (more…)

Prince of Grease. The fat laden, deep dish pizzas slugger Prince Fielder will consume closed the deal.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Detroit Tigers, who won the Prince Fielder sweepstakes on January 26th, told the Sportsman’s Daily yesterday that tossing in a one year’s unlimited supply of thick crust pizzas from local eatery Marinelli’s essentially clinched the deal for the slugger and professional eater.

Fielder, who tips the scales at a purported 275 pounds, but claims to be a vegetarian, apparently doesn’t shy away from carbs. The all-star first baseman, who had his locker moved next to the buffet table while with the Milwaukee Brewers, insists upon  consumable incentive clauses in his contracts. (more…)

Brauny Lad. Ryan Braun can hook you up.

MILWAUKEE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Milwaukee Brewers left fielder and 2011 NL MVP, Ryan Braun has tested positive for a banned substance that some sources claim is not a performance enhancing drug. However, once the investigation is completed, the slugger may have to serve a 50 game suspension. Teammates Rickie Weeks, Corey Hart, and Jonathan Lucroy say that won’t deter them from buying their weed from him.

“Brauny’s got the best shit.” said Lucroy, the team’s catcher. “Two tokes on this stuff and you’re destroyed – all the synapses in your brain sigh a collective ‘aw, fuck it’ and you’re floating across the universe for the rest of the day Bro.” (more…)

One Big Fat Greek Reporter. Takis Mihopoulos follows Brewers catcher Kottarras. And that's it.

MILWAUKEE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Unlike the throngs of Japanese reporters who’ve followed Ichiro Suzuki during his entire time in Seattle, Milwaukee Brewers’ catcher, George Kottaras has only one countryman to answer to, Takis Mihopoulos.

“Baseball isn’t exactly thriving in Greece.” Kottarras said. “So, the Hellenic Media Service sent one guy to follow me.”

Mihopoulos reports Kottaras’ exploits back to Greece for Greeks interested in the light-hitting catcher’s performances and recipes for Baklava. (more…)

Engorged En Fuego! Albert Pujols is ready for anything.

MILWAUKEE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Central Division leading Milwaukee Brewers on Thursday 8-4 as Albert Pujols slugged two homers and drove in five runs. But the All-Star first baseman wasn’t through apparently, as he continued to crank homer after homer during a rare post game batting practice.

It was learned later that Pujols had taken Viagra, not a banned substance in Major League Baseball, and in his engorged state, demanded to keep playing. That’s when batting practice pitcher Hank Stone served up a steady diet of fastballs for Pujols, who promptly deposited them in the upper deck at Miller Park. (more…)