NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Film Director Woody Allen is returning to New York for his next feature film, a yet untitled work that suggests the New York Knicks never existed in any time or any place.
“As most people know, I love the Knicks as most New Yorkers did at one time,” said the 76 year old filmmaker who has had season tickets since the 1970’s. “But of course those were the Knicks of Reed, Bradley, Frazier, and my personal favorite, Earl Monroe. What we’ve endured the past thirty years is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. Therefore my latest work will depict the organization as having never existed. I just think it’s best for everyone.”
Allen has had high level meetings with NBA Commissioner David Stern on how to strike any mention of the Knicks from all record books and return season tickets to every fan who ever existed.
“That’s the tough part,” said Allen. “Unfortunately, a Mr. Henry Needleman from Yonkers keeps insisting the team has another shot to make the playoffs next year. Granted, they’re better, but let’s not fool ourselves. Unless everyone is in complete agreement, the Knicks will continue to exist – like the universe and certain sections of New Jersey.” (more…)