Posts Tagged ‘Oakland Raiders’

Oakland Raiders Assure NFL League Office Al Davis is Still Dead

Wednesday, September 16th, 2015

So Photogenic. Raiders owner Al Davis frightened school children for decades just by saying “hello.”

OAKLAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — He was the original maverick owner. His aggressive and often hostile business approach ruffled more than a few feathers. Apparently, over the past two seasons, there have been numerous Al Davis sightings, prompting certain higher ups in the NFL to speculate whether or not he’s still alive.
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43 Year Old Unemployed Man Won’t Come out of Tiny Apartment till Madden Returns

Friday, December 5th, 2014
Going Mad for Madden. Carl Oschal continues to aimlessly wander his apartment.

Going Mad for Madden. Carl Oschal continues to aimlessly wander his apartment.

COURTDALE, PA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Carl Oschal, a 43 year old former music store manager is currently unemployed.  Already angry and frustrated at the sorry state of the music business, Oschal poured his energies into following baseball and especially football.

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A TSD Classique: Chester McGlockton Mistakenly Willed Organs for Research to Alma Mater’s English Department

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

 

 

Chester Left to Fester. McGlockton awaits position in proper department.

 

CLEMSON, SC (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Former All-Pro Defensive Tackle, Chester McGlockton passed away of an apparent heart attack in November at the age of 42. But McGlockton wanted to leave a legacy beyond football.

“He signed his organ donor card, and made specific arrangements to leave his body to the science here at his alma mater, Clemson University.” said Assistant Dean, Roger Phillips. “Unfortunately, he accidentally left his remains to the English Department.”

“Awkward!” said English Department Chairperson, Sandra Wilcox. “Now what we’ve got are students intently focused on Shakespeare, James and Yeats tiptoeing around the proverbial elephant in the room. None of us know what to do. We’ve phoned, texted, emailed and instant messaged the science lab, but I think they’re just over there having a good laugh over the whole matter. Meanwhile, here we are, the beneficiaries of Mr. McGlockton’s generous donation – and we’re all thumbs, in the accepted sense of the term.” (more…)


Oakland Raiders Assure NFL League Office Al Davis is Still Alive

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

So Photogenic. Raiders owner Al Davis has been frightening school children for decades just by saying “hello.”

OAKLAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — He is the original maverick owner. His aggressive and often hostile business approach ruffled more than a few feathers. But over the past two seasons, Davis has been seen less frequently, prompting certain higher ups in the NFL to speculate whether or not he’s alive.

“I heard he might have been killed by some mercenaries in the mountains between Pakistan and Afghanistan,” said Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, himself considered a maverick owner. “But then someone told me he wouldn’t retire until the Raiders won two more Super Bowls. Shit, that means that old bastard might be alive another hundred years.”  (more…)


Oakland Raiders Assure NFL League Office Al Davis is Still Alive

Friday, September 4th, 2009

 

So Photogenic. Raiders owner Al Davis has been frightening school children for decades just by saying “hello.”

So Photogenic. Raiders owner Al Davis has been frightening school children for decades just by saying “hello.”

 

 

OAKLAND, CA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — He is the original maverick owner. His aggressive and often hostile business approach ruffled more than a few feathers. But over the past two seasons, Davis has been seen less frequently, prompting certain higher ups in the NFL to speculate whether or not he’s alive. (more…)