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Posts Tagged ‘Orlando Magic’

Dwight Howard Induces Feelings of Inadequacy in 3 of 4 Males Surveyed

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Dwight Howard is kryptonite to the American male ego.

ORLANDO, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Standing a sculpted 6-11, with muscles piled like chiseled onyx, Dwight Howard is an astonishing physical specimen. For four widely watched games against the Charlotte Bobcats, the Magic’s abundantly gifted center has been a persistent, not entirely welcome presence in millions of living rooms — even among a surprisingly high number of male Magic fans who admit to feelings of “unease and anxiety” when the palpably potent Howard fills their television screens. (more…)


After Loss, Teammates Bolt on Dwight Howard During Locker Room Trust Fall

Monday, June 15th, 2009

 

 

Who Do You Trust? This guy's got nothing to worry about. Unlike Dwight Howard.

Who Do You Trust? This guy's got nothing to worry about. Unlike Dwight Howard.

 

 

ORLANDO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Los Angeles Lakers won their 15th NBA World Championship on Sunday night defeating the Orlando Magic 99-86.  Kobe Bryant scored 30 points and was named Finals MVP.  

But the real story is what happened in the Magic locker room shortly after the series ended. 

As part of a post game ritual, win or lose, the team participates in a trust fall – a confidence building exercise generally practiced by scouting or youth organizations to promote trust among friends and group members.  This time, coach Stan Van Gundy encouraged big man Dwight Howard to fall back in the waiting arms of his teammates. When he did, he hit the floor hard opening up a four inch gash on the back of his head which required immediate medical attention. 

(more…)


Ron Jeremy Look-alike Stan Van Gundy Has Porn Star Address Team

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy says the Lakers have no answers for his team's length, width and ability to nail the clutch three-point money shot.

Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy says the Lakers have no answers for his team's length, width and ability to nail the clutch three-point money shot.

LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Unfairly or not, excitable Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has been called panic-prone, particularly in tense, late-game situations.  Few, however, question Van Gundy’s preparation, as evidenced when he took the unusual extra step of bringing in famed porn star Ron Jeremy  to address the team before Wednesday’s practice. Many have pointed to the striking resemblance between the two, and Van Gundy thought an informal Q&A with the popular adult film star would loosen the team up as they anxiously await Thursday’s opening game against the Los Angeles Lakers.   (more…)


Dwight Howard Induces Feelings of Inadequacy in 3 of 4 Males Surveyed

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Dwight Howard is kryptonite to the American male ego.

Dwight Howard is kryptonite to the American male ego.

ORLANDO, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Standing a sculpted 6-11, with muscles piled like chiseled onyx, Dwight Howard is an astonishing physical specimen. For three widely watched games against the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Magic’s abundantly gifted center has been a persistent, not entirely welcome presence in millions of living rooms — even among a surprisingly high number of male Magic fans who admit to feelings of “unease and anxiety” when the palpably potent Howard fills their television screens.  (more…)


Lifelong Knicks Fan Falls Helplessly in Love with Celtics

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

BOCA RATON, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) As the Celtics mounted a furious come-from behind fourth quarter rally to stun the Orlando Magic 92-88 and go up 3-2 in their Eastern Conference semi-final,  47 year old Knicks fan Ira Berday found himself chewing on a bath towel and weeping uncontrollably. It was then that the New Jersey native now living in Boca Raton, Florida realized he’d fallen hard.

How a staunch  Knicks fan who grew up with posters of Willis Reed and Walt “Clyde” Frazier on his bedroom walls, who lived and died with the Knicks of Bernard King, John Starks, Patrick Ewing – even Stephon Marbury for goodness sakes – could find himself starry-eyed over a team he once loathed is a mystery – particularly to Mr. Berday. (more…)