A meal fit for a Prince. Tigers’ slugger Prince Fielder has some serious eating to do. And he’ll get first crack at this bad boy.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Detroit Tigers rotund slugger Prince Fielder has asked Director of Clubhouse Operations Larry Corsica to have his locker moved along side of the team’s buffet table. “I had to walk past Alex Avila, Justin Verlander and a slew of reporters just to get to the pizza, pasta and pierogies,” Fielder bemoaned. “By the time I got there it was picked over and breathed on – drops of spittle from Lord knows who. That’s bullshit. But no more.”

“Prince is one of the leaders of this ball club,” said manager Jim Leyland. “He’s a star in this town – a very large star. And with a professional eater of Prince’s stature…well, let’s just say I wouldn’t want to get in his way when he’s fixin’ to get his chops around a plate of Veal Scaloppini.” (more…)

That Ball’s Outta Here! Agent Scott Boras says the idea of him harvesting testicles is insane – but these waiting room items beg to differ.

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Super Agent Scott Boras left a court hearing yesterday and refused to speak with reporters after he was accused of harvesting the testicles of the superstar baseball players he represents.

“That’s absolutely ludicrous,” barked T. Everett Harper, a member of Boras’ legal team. “Besides, he returned the testicles.”

(more…)

Stuck Him In! Slugger not long before entering this voting booth.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Just over a week after he and his Detroit Tigers teammates were swept out of the World Series by the San Francisco Giants, rotund slugging first baseman Prince Fielder is still stuck in a voting booth at the 128th precinct.

The plump Fielder entered the voting booth at 8:23 this morning and has yet to emerge.  (more…)

Sometimes you feel like a nut. The mighty Prince appears to be locked and loaded, but his mind is somewhere else.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Even though he’s having a solid season for his new team, the Detroit Tigers, slugger Prince Fielder had difficulty focusing in Monday evening’s 6-4 loss to the Minnesota Twins. He left two men on base and claims he was distracted when 52 year old peanut vendor Clarence Barker was working the crowd behind the plate.   (more…)

Prince of Grease. The fat laden, deep dish pizzas slugger Prince Fielder will consume closed the deal.

DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Detroit Tigers, who won the Prince Fielder sweepstakes on January 26th, told the Sportsman’s Daily yesterday that tossing in a one year’s unlimited supply of thick crust pizzas from local eatery Marinelli’s essentially clinched the deal for the slugger and professional eater.

Fielder, who tips the scales at a purported 275 pounds, but claims to be a vegetarian, apparently doesn’t shy away from carbs. The all-star first baseman, who had his locker moved next to the buffet table while with the Milwaukee Brewers, insists upon  consumable incentive clauses in his contracts. (more…)

Fit for a Prince. Brewer's slugger gets first dibs

MILWAUKEE, WI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Milwaukee Brewers rotund slugger Prince Fielder has asked Director of Clubhouse Operations Tony Migliaccio to have his locker moved along side of the team’s buffet table. “I had to walk past Bill Hall, JJ Hardy, and a slew of reporters just to get to the damn sausages, meatballs, pasta and chicken,” Fielder bemoaned. “By the time I got there it was picked over and breathed on – drops of spittle from Lord knows who. That’s bullshit. But no more.”

“Prince is one of the leaders of this ball club,” said manager Ken Macha. “He’s a star in this town – a very large star. And with a professional eater of Prince’s stature…well, let’s just say I wouldn’t want to get in his way when he’s fixin’ to get his chops around a plate of Veal Scaloppini.”

(more…)