Posts Tagged ‘Saints’

Sportsman’s Daily Staffer Adheres to His 31-17 Post Game Prediction; Walks Around Office All Cocksure of Himself

Monday, February 8th, 2010

Old School Lassiter.  Chet in the golden era circa 1972.

Old School Lassiter. Chet in the golden era circa 1972.

BOCA RATON, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Chet Lassiter, the longtime Sportsman’s Daily staffer, who over the years has consistently refused to reveal his Super Bowl prediction until after the game has been played, has done it again.

“Lassiter bounded into the office at 8:18 this morning,” said fellow veteran reporter Gregory Jansen. “Well, ‘bounded’ might be stretching it given his recent knee surgeries. But he walked in all cocksure of himself declaring he predicted the final outcome of the Super Bowl would be 31-17 in favor of the Saints.  He does this all the time. It’s a sort of retro prediction, which by the way is becoming a rather popular trend in the office.” (more…)


Super Bowl Champion to Get Tour through Congressman Henry Waxman’s Nostrils

Thursday, January 28th, 2010
Snot’s Landing. Henry Waxman is opening up his nostrils to the team that wins it all.

Snot’s Landing. Henry Waxman is opening up his nostrils to the team that wins it all.

WASHINGTON DC (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Sports historians are calling it the dawn of a new tradition in professional football. In what is being heralded as an unprecedented gesture of goodwill with an effort to promote fair play and sportsmanship, California Congressman (D) Henry Waxman will welcome this year’s Super Bowl winner into his flaring nostrils for an extensive tour.

Waxman, a representative from California’s 30th congressional district, and a huge sports fan is looking forward to the day following Super Bowl XLIV when the championship team will greet him on the steps of the U.S. Capitol.   (more…)


Favre Retires in Third Quarter; Comes Out of Retirement to Blow Game in Fourth Quarter

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Viking Funeral.  Minnesota Vikings fans let it all hang out after devastating loss.

Viking Funeral. Minnesota Vikings fans let it all hang out after devastating loss.

NEW ORLEANS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The saga of Brett Favre’s never ending retirements continued last night in the NFC Championship Game when the Minnesota Vikings quarterback limped off the field in the third quarter and immediately retired from professional football.

But seeing his team still had a chance to win, he called a hastily assembled press conference on the sidelines as his foot was being wrapped and announced he’d return to the Vikings for “at least another quarter.”

“I knew he was toying with us again,” said teammate Adrian Peterson. “That retirement shit he always lays down is just Brett being Brett. I knew he’d come back.” (more…)


Eagles One Up Giants Embarrassing Loss by Losing to Bunch of Girls

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Wu Baby!! Eighth grader Tara Wu phones her mom to tell her she personally sacked Donovan McNabb three times on Sunday.

Wu Baby!! Eighth grader Tara Wu phones her mom to tell her she personally sacked Donovan McNabb three times on Sunday.

OAKLAND (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Oakland Raiders, who were secretly replaced at the beginning of the season by a group of eighth grade girls, stunned the Philadelphia Eagles yesterday afternoon 13-9. (more…)