Posts Tagged ‘Sixers’

Dr. J Forced to Perform Emergency Appendectomy

Monday, July 25th, 2016
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Thanks Doc. Julius saves the day.

SANTA FE, NM (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Julius Erving, the high flying basketball legend who almost singlehandedly put the old ABA (American Basketball Association) on the sports landscape, and later led the Philadelphia 76ers to four NBA finals in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, was certainly used to operating on the floor. However, the “Doctor” or “Dr. J” as he was called, had to do a different kind of operating yesterday.

Erving, who was in Santa Fe, New Mexico for an autograph show, signed hundreds of pictures, basketballs and apparel for adoring fans. About an hour into the event, 49 year old Horace Finster, who described himself as one of Erving’s biggest fans, suddenly collapsed to the floor grasping the right side of his abdomen writhing in pain. (more…)


U.S. Orders Drone Strike on Sixers’ Andrew Bynum

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Drone Deaf. Bynum has no idea what's coming.

PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The controversial question over whether the United States would ever launch a drone strike on one of its own citizens has finally been answered. A nearly unanimous vote to strike chronically lame center Andrew Bynum of the Philadelphia 76ers was held yesterday. Bynum joined what was deemed as an improving Sixers team in a three way trade, but has never suited up for them at any point during the season. The result has been disastrous for teammates, team ownership, Head Coach Doug Collins, and the fans.  (more…)


NBA’s Top Mop Boy Gets Five Year Contract with Sixers

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012
Slip Slidin’ Away.  Spurs and Lakers players fumed over not having adequate mop boys on their teams during last season.

Slip Slidin’ Away. Spurs and Lakers players fumed over not having adequate mop boys on their teams during last season.

Whiz Kid Can Swab Excess Sweat at Blinding Speeds; Endorsement Deals Looming

PHILADELPHIA  (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Darnellius Crawford has prevented many NBA players from serious injury by just doing his job – as simple as it may be. Crawford, who was named the Philadelphia 76ers youngest mop boy in team history last season at the age of twelve, was offered a five year deal making him the richest mop boy in the league. The terms of the deal were not disclosed. During timeouts mop boys are responsible for mopping and drying wet spots on the floor that develop as players begin to perspire. (more…)


NBA Swine Flu Warning to Coaches and Players Extends to No Foul Rule

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

 

Flu the Hoop. This unidentified NBA player says he's not taking any chances.

Flu the Hoop. This unidentified NBA player says he's not taking any chances.

 

 

NEW YORK, (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) NBA Commissioner David Stern has “highly encouraged” NBA coaches and players to not shake hands this season before or after games due to the expected high risk of contacting the Swine Flu. (more…)


Dr. J Forced to Perform Emergency Appendectomy

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

 

Operate on this Biotch! Hall of Famer basketball legend Julius Dr. J Erving had to take a break from this autograph signing session to save Horace Finster by removing his appendix.

Operate on this Biotch! Hall of Famer basketball legend Julius "Dr. J" Erving had to take a break from this autograph signing session to save Horace Finster by removing his appendix.

 

 

SANTA FE, NM (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Julius Erving, the high flying basketball legend who almost singlehandedly put the old ABA (American Basketball Association) on the sports landscape, and later led the Philadelphia 76ers  to four NBA finals in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, was certainly used to operating on the floor. However, the “Doctor” or “Dr. J” as he was called, had to do a different kind of operating yesterday.   (more…)