CHICAGO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In the hopes that a talented you nucleus and an extraterrestrial life force may turn their fortunes around, the Chicago Cubs have announced one member of their 25 man roster will play host to an alien parasite for the 2015 season.
“To be honest, we’re not leaning towards anyone right now. It’s still too early.” said Cubs General manager, Theo Epstein. “First we need to determine whether this would violate any banned substance mandates.”
The alien, which arrived on February 13th from Rigel Frushon-X37 can shape shift and enter the human body through the mouth, nasal passages or ear canal. (more…)