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Posts Tagged ‘Thunder’

Spurs’ Duncan Admits to Being Intoxicated By the “Melodious Whiff” of Kevin Durant’s Cologne

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

Waft Pick. Tim Duncan caught a whiff and it was over.

OKLAHOMA CITY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Despite his 25 points and 14 rebounds, future hall of famer Tim Duncan and his San Antonio Spurs didn’t have enough in the tank to defeat the hugely talented Oklahoma City Thunder and superstar Kevin Durant as the Thunder won the Western Conference finals in game 6, 107-99. However, Duncan claims it wasn’t Durant’s skills that wore down the Spurs, but his cologne.

“Much like being downwind of a rack of St. Louis baby backs on a smoker on a warm and pleasant summer evening, the irresistible waft of Kevin’s cologne was all up in my nostrils the entire night.” said Duncan. “I’m not sure what my man is wearing, but damn, that is some sweet, sweet, smelling shit.”  (more…)

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Lakers Hide From Kobe After Game 5 Exit

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

If you thought his team mates steered clear of Kobe on the floor, they were no where to be seen as he stormed into the locker room looking to pin blame for their Game 5 meltdown.

OKLAHOMA CITY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) – When it was over, there wasn’t a Laker to be found…anywhere. Only fifteen seconds after the game ended, the locker room was mysteriously empty and if not for the solitary figure of Kobe Bryant calling out his “punkass” team mates and heaving every object not nailed down (including a Japanese reporter), eerily quiet.

“I hate you! I hate you!” fumed Bryant. “I hate you, hate you, hate you!”

Onlookers unfamiliar with Kobe’s juvenile tantrums were as stunned as Chesapeake Energy Arena fans who had just witnessed the Lakers get blown out in Game 5 of the Western Conference Semifinals.

“This is the side no one sees, he’s a spoiled child,” said Vic Anderson of the LA Times. “The guys lay low until it blows over. You just hope it blows over before Vanessa (Kobe’s wife) gets involved. She’s gotten three players traded, an assistant coach reassigned and nine cheerleaders fired.” (more…)

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NBA Swine Flu Warning to Coaches and Players Extends to No Foul Rule

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

 

Flu the Hoop. This unidentified NBA player says he's not taking any chances.

Flu the Hoop. This unidentified NBA player says he's not taking any chances.

 

 

NEW YORK, (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) NBA Commissioner David Stern has “highly encouraged” NBA coaches and players to not shake hands this season before or after games due to the expected high risk of contacting the Swine Flu. (more…)

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