Posts Tagged ‘Tim Duncan’

Spurs’ Duncan Admits to Being Intoxicated By the “Melodious Whiff” of Kevin Durant’s Mystery Cologne

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

Waft Pick. Tim Duncan caught a whiff and it was over.

OKLAHOMA CITY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Despite his team leading the best of seven series 2-0, future hall of famer Tim Duncan and his San Antonio Spurs aren’t taking The Oklahoma City Thunder lightly. Duncan admits OKC superstar Kevin Durant’s skills are more than formidable, but it’s his cologne that worries him most.

“Much like being downwind of a rack of St. Louis baby backs on a smoker on a warm and pleasant summer evening, the irresistible waft of Kevin’s cologne was all up in my nostrils the entire night.” said Duncan. “I’m not sure what my man is wearing, but damn, that is some sweet, sweet, smelling shit.”  (more…)

LeBron James Finds Depressed Tim Duncan at Bottom of Post Game Meal

Monday, June 10th, 2013

Duncan Donuts? Maybe for dessert.

MIAMI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) After the Miami Heat’s Sunday night 103-84 thrashing of the San Antonio Spurs, superstar LeBron James joined his teammates for the traditional post game dinner, and a small victory celebration before departing for Texas. Nothing unusual there. What did catch James by surprise was discovering a despondent Tim Duncan sulking at the bottom of his generous portion of grilled fish and macaroni and cheese.

“Hey.” a crestfallen Duncan moaned. “I’m here because I’d like to personally thank you and the fellas for a lesson in reality.”

Eyewitnesses said James did his best to cheer up his opponent.  (more…)